Download this issue

PENTECOST: ALL IN THE FAMILY

SUNDAY, MAY 31ST, IS PENTECOST, THE BIRTHDAY OF THE CHURCH.
St. Peter's great sermon on the day of Pentecost made it clear that the Church is a family, Christ's family, particularly in his closing invitation: "The promise is to you and to your children and to all that are far off, every one whom the Lord our God calls to him." (Acts 2:39)

From the beginning, the Good News of Jesus has been for old and young alike. And so, in this Pentecost edition of The VOICE I want to address the place of children at St. John's, particularly in our worship. I've recently received a number of questions about children in church-when they're ready to be there and when they should be taken out!-and so here are a few thoughts for the whole St. John's family to consider.

1. First, the presence of children in church is highly encouraged. The Church is a family gathering, a family meal that transforms us as we gather at Christ's table. Anglicans have always stressed that one of the ways we grow as disciples is through worship, that liturgical prayer shapes and strengthens our faith. Because of this, children should be present in church and participating in worship as soon as they are able. This is how they grow. (The exception for this is Children's Chapel, offered to 5-year-olds through 2nd graders, where kids receive intentional education about the ways and meanings of our worship.)

2. The reverential atmosphere of our worship can make the presence of children a challenge. Some churches have actually resorted to the easier option of providing separate "contemporary" services for kids. But the better course is to rise to the family challenge of helping our kids grow in Christ through the Church's worship, even though this calls for work and patience from children, parents, and the congregation as a whole.

3. Having kids in church requires parents to be in "teaching mode." Until parents are ready to help instruct their kids, there is the nursery. When kids begin to be present in church, they should begin to participate in age-appropriate ways: standing, sitting, kneeling with the congregation; saying the responses ("And with thy spirit") and the prayers; learning the ceremonial actions (bowing, making the Sign of the Cross). As children learn to read, parents can help them follow along in the bulletin and recite the psalm. Of course, parents must also know the limits of their children. Few 4-year-olds can sit quietly through a sermon, and so it is appropriate for a child to color quietly or look at a book during this time. In all things, slow and steady growth is the goal, and parents need to find the balance of helping kids stretch to the next level of participation in the liturgy.

4. While perfection is not required, parents must always be mindful of those worshiping around them. If working with a child during Mass requires a conversation, a parent should remove the child from the worship space so that others are not distracted. If an infant or toddler begins to cry or has not yet learned to whisper, the child should be taken out of the church until he or she is ready to return. Parents need not be embarrassed when this happens. It's part of being a parent!

5. Finally, those worshiping without children also have a responsibility. First, they must extend some leeway to those training their children in worship. (Forbearance is a Christian virtue.) But accountability is a value as well, which means that if your concentration is disturbed by a child's behavior, love requires you to go to the parent and, in a loving and gracious way, share your heart. "Whoa!" you say! "Isn't that the priest's job?" No. Growth in the Christian family requires all of us to love one another along to maturity, across the generations.

With all the challenges involved, think about how glorious this is! Christ's promises are "to you and your children," and the sound of voices, young and old together, rising together to the glory of God, should inspire us to realize it's already happening! Together we are a family, growing in the love of God, and all of Christ's promises are ours.

Gratefully yours,